How to explore your true identity & start living by it

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1. December 2020

Most people follow the rules of the collective. They design their lives around what is expected from them and then try to do everything right. Get the right education, the right grades, the right job and career, the right partner and lifestyle. Everything that happens is perceived as normal and even desirable. 

I was taught, that my twenties would be for studying and exploring the world a bit and of course, coming home, starting a job in a good company, finding a man, settling down, having children. Every time I met my family, they’d ask if I met a nice guy or if I wasn’t scared of staying single for the rest of my life. It has an almost ridiculous touch to say that to a woman in her mid twenties – at least I thought so. 

Everyone around me was so focused on succeeding in life by fitting in, by meeting the expectations of our society. But sadly, many people who did all the right things wake up one day thinking to themselves: “I am successful. I have everything they said I should pursue, but I am still not happy! In fact, I feel heavy-hearted!” 

While doing all the right things, they forgot to ask themselves what feels right to them. Ignoring their intuition and inner guide made it silent and so they just keep doing what they think is right.

If you have ever felt like something is not right, even though you always did the right things, it might be another attempt of your intuition to speak to you. To show you your true identity and help you find the way to design a truly fulfilling life. 

The voice returned, but where do you start?

Once you allowed your intuition to speak up, truly listen to it and not ignore what it has to say right away, all kinds of feelings may occur. It can be overwhelming to process everything that comes up. The first and most difficult step is to accept, that the life, or parts of it, you lived so far is not fulfilling and making changes is never easy.

Depending on what your inner voice is guiding you towards, maybe it is a small change, or maybe it reminds you of your truth and asks you to live by it unapologetically. 

Living in your truth, quite often, requires you to unlearn the social norms and conditioning we have all learned from our parents, in kindergarten, at school. That, my love, is not an easy step.

But embarking on this journey is so worth it. It just saved my life.

And this is where you start – you allow your intuition to speak, you listen closely and write everything down – nothing more, and the journey has started!

The next right steps

Maybe your intuition reminds you of the adventurous little child you were, of how you were in love with words and music. Of your forgotten talents and passions and also of how you imagined your life to look like – before any conditioning – your very own dream. 

Writing it all out makes your heart light up, you feel excited and relieved, because now you know, why there was always the nagging feeling of “something is not right”. 

Most importantly, don’t put your notes aside and forget about them again. I know it might be tempting to ignore your intuition again, like you did so many times before, and just accept that your life is what it is. But it will only start the cycle again – you will feel fine for a while, at least you can stay in your comfort zone, then you will feel that something is wrong again and eventually listen to your intuition – why wait? 

The next right step is always within yourself and depends on where you are in life and where you want to go.

You do not have to leave your job right away, and please don’t do it, if you don’t have enough securities! Maybe you want to see more of the world – so you could start by applying to jobs abroad. Maybe you want to start writing again or making music – just start in your free time and see where it takes you.

Every first step will lead to new steps, new opportunities – and a more fulfilled life!

A few words at the end

People often think, making big changes in their lives, turning their lives upside down is a messy, irresponsible and sometimes impossible thing to do – but it doesn’t have to be. 

You get to decide how fast or slow you apply the changes, and once you know your truth, your identity and what you really want your life to look like, you can start redefining it.

Unlearn old conditionings is an ongoing task and takes time. But once you break free from these limiting beliefs, you will see that living in your truth is not impossible – it is a journey, but you will feel free, relieved and fulfilled from the day you started listening to your intuition – and then take one step, one day at a time!

Ask yourself this: What is the price I pay, if I ignore my truth?